Monday, 21 January 2013

Stoy Telling - Suggestions

Suggested Story Ideas
My creative partner Alex came up with few ideas to help me along with my story ideas, So after hearing them I've expanded them with my own twist on  it.
So here are the suggestions made by Alex:
1 - lol ok basically i thought about the "fish bowl" on a larger scale, works the same way with the dead person in the morgue at the beginning - so imagine a window washer is cleaning a window which is actually the window of an aquarium (you know like the underground ones you get) and there are sharks in there so that could act as your "fish bowl" then i was thinking one of the sharks wants to eat the window washer and distracts him or something, and is trying break the glass, so there's like this comedic rivalry between them - the window washer could get startled and trip on his equipment which would make the shark laugh for instance, the way he dies is the glass does break the shark spills out of the giant tank and gets his mouth half in the mans body - (a shot of the sharks mouth coming up to the screen) ---- in the morgue beginning sequence its a man with a shark half down his body if that makes sense ?? but yeah its not great but it just came to haha
2 - also alternately you could have the window washer doing the same thing but the shark inside the tank is trying to get to another female shark on the opposite side and it just happens that the window washer gets in the way as they both break out of their tanks to get to each other and he has two sharks either side of him covering his body - but the sharks are happy cos they're together

3 - Alex Edmonds13 January 2013 01:47
I actually do like version 1 with the whole struggle of the seemingly simple task to wash a window of dirt. When it comes to incorporating your fish in the story what sprang to mind for me was someone coming out of a neighbouring pet store carrying a fish bowl with a fish in it and walks past the struggling window cleaner and then you could think of something that happens there like a collision for example? Also maybe the fish element hasn't got to be alive? Possibly a van full of raw fish could pull up on the curb right where he is working and it stinks! And he hates the smell of fish - that could certainly spark something? Oh and I also read Phils comment on an earlier post about looking at it from the fishes perspective, in a fish world - I actually think that would put a great spin on things so definitely something to think about :)
And here are my renditions of them:

1 - I could use the Aquarium idea by having the Window Washer commissioned to clean a big aquarium which he ends up breaking somehow, but you don't see how, you just see the crack appear in the glass and then it cuts to the scene of him with a large fish or a shark on his head laying in a morgue table.

3  - I like the idea of the fish bowl being a consequence of a third part situation. I like the thought of the window cleaner being invoved in a collision with a fish bowl that wasn't his fault. It's a nice way of including the prop without being so literal with it.


  1. Hey Matt - I think Alex is onto something; for example, the big aquarium could be giant fish bowl, and aquariums always need window washers (I think I might have suggested a similar thing quite early on as there seems such a natural connection between your character and the glass of the fish bowl itself). I think you should certainly consider developing this idea further, as it's got a nice satisfying logic to it. I know that Katy Fosdike is working to a similar structure (dead body in Act 1 etc.) but there's something about your set-up that makes me think about the suicide bunny cartoons:

    and also the Darwin awards:

    Essentially, it's about people dying stupidly - doing stupid arse things and ending up dead; maybe your story could be one of these scenarios? Maybe your window-cleaner doesn't even know he's washing the windows of a shark-infested aquarium? Maybe your morgue attendants keep score in regard to the most stupid way people die? There is definitely something cooking here, Matt! You might want to think about using simple captioning and a slight dead-pan tone?

  2. Hi Matt - no OGR? Well, I hope these previous comments + Alex's ideas are leading you towards a satisfactory resolution; get an OGR on here asap and I'll take a look.